Confidence: From superficial to superpower
Let me ask you something: what does the word confidence mean to you?
Take a second. Mull it over. And get ready, because I’m about to tell you how everything I thought I knew about it turned out to be a load of rubbish.
My family would tell you I was a confident kid. I mean, if getting up on stage at every opportunity isn’t a sign, then what is?
I was a real show off. And seemingly unphased by the type of things that fuel the nightmares of most adults; navigating change, overcoming barriers, zooming out of my comfort zone at full speed.
That pattern became the blueprint for my life. I led clubs, delivered talks, hopped on planes (and leapt out of them). From an outside perspective, you’d think confidence and blood ran through my veins in equal measure.
But what you couldn’t see was the crushing self doubt that lay beneath the surface.
Not believing I would be successful. Not believing I could ever be described as ‘beautiful’. Not believing I deserved to be loved.
It dawned on me that the ‘confidence’ I’d always prided myself on was almost entirely performative. Shallow. Surface-level.
When working with clients on building their confidence, I encourage them to do exactly what I did - to dig a big deeper.
In doing so, I learnt a very important lesson.
Confidence is not how you look. It’s not what you weigh, or what dress size you’re wearing. It’s not who you’re dating, how many ‘likes’ you get, or how much money drops into your account on pay day. It’s not the loudest voice in the room.
Confidence is the challenges you’ve faced. The battles you’ve overcome. The skills you’ve built, the traits you possess - the role you play in the world.
By focussing a little less on the superficial and a little more on your superpowers, you’ll build a better understanding of yourself, and a confidence that cannot be shaken.
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